Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The little town of Hillsboro straddles Route 9 about 11 miles west of Leesburg, close to the West Virginia line. Nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, it has one store, sleeps a little more than 100 people and is the smallest town in Loudoun County.
Marion Virts has spent the past 30-some years in Hillsboro. She lives in a big, old house on the east edge of town about 30 yards off Route 9, also called the Charles Town Pike.
"One of our claims to fame is that George Washington rode his horse up the Pike and through Hillsboro when he went to visit his brother, the namesake of Charles Town, West Virginia," she said. "If George rode by here this morning he'd be in good shape cause he'd be going against the traffic."
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What Marion sees from her side porch these days are lines of commuters heading in and out of West Virginia. Eastbound traffic begins before dawn, and the returning version ends way after dark. She says there were days when it took her “forever” to get out of her driveway.
"But, it's no problem today," she chuckles. "They took my car keys away from me when I was 80."
Marion will turn 86 next Christmas.
‘More to do Than You Might Think’
Here's how Marion describes Marion.
"I've got Bell's Palsy on this side," she said, stroking the right side of her face, "I got it in 1997 ... It was supposed to go away in two weeks. Lots of words I can't say, like W's, but I practice saying my ABCs every day ... I'm working on it. I don't have any eyelashes ... I'm hearing impaired, actually I’m deaf as a post and there's the vertigo that began about five years ago. It doesn’t help my balance a whole lot.”
She’s also had bouts with emphysema that sometimes call for a stay in the hospital. "I don't understand it. I used to be a reasonably attractive woman, in pretty good shape," she said, laughing. "Maybe it was something I ate."
She didn't have to describe the obvious, her sense of humor and her animated, infectious laugh.
"When people call and ask me how I am, I just tell them I'm still on this side of the grass,” she said.
Marion Virts, Longtime Hillsboro Resident
She’s spent a lot of years on the grass, as a farmer's daughter and a farmer's wife. She was born Christmas Day in 1921 about five miles west of Hillsboro, "between the hills over towards Harpers Ferry."
In 1928, she moved with her family to a bigger farm a couple of miles east of Hillsboro. In 1947, she married a farmer who lived "one farm over" from her dad’s place.
"He told me he'd had his eye on me for a long time. His name was Berkley, but everybody called him ‘Berk,’" Marion said. "The man didn't have an enemy and we had a wonderful life together."
She recalled her days with Berk with obvious pleasure: the square dances, playing the piano and her guitar, going to the movies in Charles Town, practical jokes, mowing, milking cows. And then there’s the time her husband asked her to help put a ring through a "big old pig's nose."
"I just couldn't do it ... poking it through that pig's nose. I tried, but finally Berk had to do it by himself ... but he didn't get mad," she said.
Marion said she loved to mow and put up hay.
"One time I had three mowers,” she said. “Berk got me a nice Farmall Cub tractor to go with my hand mowers, and when I wasn't mowing I'd be running the vacuum. It's no wonder I can't hear a thing today with all the racket those darned machines made."
Berk developed serious diabetes and lost a leg to the disease. They sold their farm and moved into the home where Marion now lives. Berk died in 1987.
Marion got a job cleaning rooms and making beds in a Leesburg motel.
"Oh, the stories I could tell about that job," she said, letting loose with a laugh.
"I hadn't been working there too long and one morning when I unlocked one of the motel rooms I saw everything in there was smashed or broken,” she said. “Mirrors, chairs, beds, everything ... The lid was even torn off the commode.”
Her boss told her a couple had gotten into a fight the night before. "She said the man was in the hospital and the woman was in jail."
She said on several occasions, after knocking on the door and saying "room service" and getting no reply, she’d unlock the door and find a man and woman in bed doing what men and women do in beds when not sleeping.
"I'd tell them to take their time and I'd be back later,” she said. “Those customers were always good for a big tip.
"One day my boss asked me if I knew how to get to Dulles Airport, where the small planes park,” Marion said.
Bill Snead
As Marion says, "Don't come up in the attic if you can read," because that's where she keeps her 900 copies of movie magazines, along with an assortment of other "attic stuff." Her favorite time to be there is in the spring when rain falls on her home's tin roof.
Soon, she was in her car heading for Dulles International Airport with a sleeping passenger in her back seat. She dropped him off and got a ‘thank you,’ but no tip.
"A few days later I see a picture of this guy in The Post spread eagle on the ground by an airplane ... so here I was driving a drug dealer to the airport ... good Lord have mercy," she said.
She quit the motel business and began cleaning homes for families. She did that until she turned 80 and began having health issues.”
"Now I get to stay home with my stuff," she said. She leaned forward, pointing her finger, "Now before you think I'm some kind of couch potato, let me tell you, I've got more to do than you might think."
Her niece, Milee McDonald (Miss Loudoun County, 1967) bought her aunt an e-mail machine.
"I've got over 40 e-mail pen pals and we send all kinds of jokes back and forth,” she said. “I love it, I just love it.
"Oh, I heard a cute one the other day about a group of people living in a rest home used to meet before dinner for a glass of wine,” she said. “This old guy comes up to their table and insists they guess how old he was. He'd just had a birthday."
Marion scooted to the edge of her chair, lowered her voice and said, "A woman at the table tells the guy to go away, she didn't care how old he was. The guy begged. The woman says ‘OK, drop your pants and I'll tell you how old you are.’ He says ‘no.’ She says ‘go away.’ He drops his pants. She tells him to drop his underwear. ‘Can't do it,’ he says. ‘Go away,’ she says.
“He drops his underwear in the middle of the dining room. The woman looks down and says, 'you're 87 years old.' The guy is flabbergasted ... he pulls up his pants, 'how in the world did you guess my age?’
“You told me yesterday,’ the woman said.”
Marion laughed so loudly she probably got the attention of some West Virginia commuters.
"Isn't that great," she said, still beaming.
Marion is on a roll. "You know, my motto is, ‘I'm too old to dance with ugly men.’”
Another round of laughs.
Movies, Jokes and a Little Luck
Marion has been a movie fan since childhood. Both her father and her husband used to take her to the movies in Charles Town on Wednesdays and Saturdays.
"I've got a basement full of videos," she said.
Her favorite stars are Gregory Peck, William Holden, Kevin Costner and Paul Newman.
"I've got all of Newman’s except two, all of Holden's, all but one of Peck’s and all of Costner's, except this last one," she said proudly.
Bill Snead
This small portion of an upstairs bedroom wall is a tribute to Kevin Costner and Paul Newman, complete with autographed and inscribed photos of the pair.
She used to watch one every night but her vertigo and hearing problems have put a stop to that.
"Let me show you something," she said.
She stood up, got her balance and led the way up the hallway stairs.
Hanging on the wall in a sitting room were framed and signed photos of Kevin Costner and Paul Newman.
"Aren't those something," she said, beaming.
A couple whose house she’d cleaned for years, Tom and Bobbie Wilkinson, had brought them by on her 80th birthday.
She turned and headed for the attic stairs.
"Now, you don't want to come up here if you know how to read," she said, "You'll never want to come downstairs."
Like the rest of her house, Marion has an attic filled with stuff. Across from a basket filled with American flags are stacks of magazines.
By Marion's count, she has 900 magazines that include every copy of Photoplay through 1957, stacks of other movie magazines and an assortment of Look and Life.
“I collected all of those between 1930 and 1957,” she said.
Her favorite time to go to the attic is in the spring. “When the rain is hitting on the tin roof, it’s attic time,” she said.
In 85 years, Marion never has lived more than five miles from Hillsboro, but her virtual world has gone global through her movies and magazines -- and now her e-mail.
On the way down the stairs, Marion talked about her interest in geneology, something she's been working with for 50 years.
"Now, I'm an Abel and I've got that back to 1711 ... Abels started in Loudoun County,” she said. “We found the old Abel Cemetery about five miles from here and it was a wreck, cleaned it up, smoked out a groundhog or two and got it looking pretty nice.”
She announced that her research has revealed she's related to the likes of William Shakespeare and Isaac Newton, along with the mothers of George Washington and William Holden.
Bill Snead
Marion Virts sits in the living room of her six-bedroom home in Hillsboro. "It's an old house, older than Jesus," she said. She was previously a member of the town council and served as water commissioner "until my hearing got too bad that I couldn't hear what was going on in the meetings."
"If that doesn't get me a free cup of coffee, I don't know what will," she said happily.
It's nearly time for her nephew and live-in caregiver, Tommy Virts, to return home. “My niece, Milee, gets me my prescriptions and Tommy makes sure I take them,” she said.
On her side porch she apologizes for wasting half of this reporter’s day.
"I told you I wasn't an interesting person and you’d be wasting your time coming out here, but it was nice of you to come by," she said with a smile and a hug.
Marion told one more short joke.
Four elderly men were chatting in their host's kitchen. Their wives were sitting in the living room. "Oh, says one, ‘we found a nice new restaurant yesterday, food was good and it was reasonable.
“’What was the name of the place?’” a man asks.
"’Oh let me think’" -- long pause -- "’what's the name of that flower that has thorns?’”
"’A rose?’" one guesses.
"’Yeah, that's it,’" and raising his voice, says, "’Hey, Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to yesterday?’"
Laughing, I headed down the stairs toward my car.
"Oh, did I tell you about 'Rabbit, Rabbit," she asked, "or maybe you've heard about it." She explained that if the first words out of your mouth on the first morning of the month were ‘rabbit, rabbit,’ good things would happen to you all month.
"I put a stuffed rabbit by the telephone in my bedroom to remind me," she said, adding that it works. I told her I'd give it a try.
As I got to my car she yelled out, "and you know about standing a raw egg on end on the first day of spring, don't you? It'll bring you good luck, too."
Marion now has one more pen pal to respond to on her e-mail machine.
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Marion Virts is my adopted Aunt from 50 years ago. My mother and her met in a fan club! We visited that farm for over 40 years. She has always been a dear woman and one thing she might not have told you- she always wore Tabu cologne! I cannot smell that without having fond memories of her. We still email. I love her very much! Diane Davis
Posted by grnydi (anonymous) on August 7, 2007 at 8:50 a.m. (Suggest removal)
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